Monday, June 26, 2006

I'd rather put pins in my eyes...

...than watch another football match like that. Ukraine vs Switzerland, it was utter dross. If ever a game needed a streaker. And why the fuck has the BBC got Mick McCarthy as a commentator? I mean, I thought Mark Lawrenson was gloomy. If you listen carefully, you can actually hear a bell tolling just before he speaks. He makes you want to slit your wrists every time you hear him. But Mick McCarthy just sounds like he doesn't want to be there. Like he doesn't want to be anywhere. He sounds like the sort of twat that has to get up early in the day, just to have time to moan about everything he wants to moan about.

I cannot understand the level of commentators at this World Cup. You've got Alan 'Paint Drying' Shearer. 'Big' Gareth Southgate. Gloomy Mark Lawrenson. David 'The Twat' Pleat. Fat Sam... I mean, there MUST be some people out there with a bit of personality. I like Hansen. I've always liked El Tel. And Big Ears does a decent job as an anchor man.

Why can't ITV get a decent anchor man? I mean, Gabby Roslan is shit. Steve Ryder? Come on... He should be doing the snooker, not a top gig like this. And as for the Count from Sesame St, Jim Rosental... Bring back Des, is all I can say.

Get Moaninho on, that would be a laugh. Alan Brazil did quite well a while back, I seem to remember. Surely there must be someone out there that can add a bit of entertainment. And no, I don't mean Ian Wright. Or that twat from Dudley.

What about James Richardson, the extremely talented presenter of Football Italia on whatever channel it is now (The Shopping Channel?). He is arguably the best anchor man I've ever seen and is wasted where he is. Great for us lovers of Italian footie, but I think he could easily step up to the bigger stage.

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