A much better Crappy Obviously (not)self-penned Joke

From my friend Rachel.

Q. What do you call a very grumpy man who's been kicked in the balls?
A. Testy

Crappy Obviously Self-Penned Jokes

Inspired by the mighty Tafkass and his Very Poor crappy and obviously self-penned jokes, and my Uncle Stephen's self-proclaimed Facebook grumpiness (His status: Q. What do you call a grumpy cow? A. Moo-dy), I have two COSPJ's of my own.

Q. What's the grumpiest day in France?
A. Mardi

Q. What do you call a grumpy dwarf?
A. Tetchy

Ithangyew.

It's a Small(-minded) World after all

This is a letter published in yesterday's Daily Heil. Unbelievable - not so much the underlying racism which is to be expected from a Daily Heil reader - more that they actually chose to publish it. Isn't it lovely to see, at a time when the world comes together?

Inappropriate Company Name of the Century

From Football 365's Mediawatch

The following press release came to Mediawatch's attention on Thursday:

'"World of Goals" launches a new website and football index to establish and measure the performance of football players, one day before the start of World Cup 2010! Performance and fitness stats of all participating football players will be tracked and can be found on World of Goals website.'

All very nice, until you start abbreviating things...

'The WoG Index uses an algorithm...'

Whoa whoa whoa. On the eve of the first World Cup to be held in Africa, hosted by a country who in the relatively recent past employed a system of government that divided its citizens based on the colour of their skin, a ratings system called the 'WoG Index' has been launched?

A PR success, don't you think?

An Exmoor Adventure

Had my first adventure of the Summer in Conan, my trustee VW Transporter. I decided to have a look around the North Devon coast. And I have to say, what I discovered absolutely blew me away. Dartmoor was pretty, but Exmoor was simply spectacular. I stayed the night in Selworthy, a secret hidden road just by Minehead. Bizarrely, I drove past a man on his own, playing the bagpipes.

The next morning, I went further into Exmoor. And there were so many fantastic things to see... However, my personal favourite was the Valley of the Rocks (which is a fantastic name in itself). It is, without a doubt, the most beautiful place I've ever seen in England. And, there's a car park... where you can stay overnight for just £5 or £16 for the WHOLE week. That's where my next holiday's going to be!

Here are some photos. They do not do any of the places I've seen justice.

Reasons Not to Listen to your Mother #2156

I have a skin tag on my neck, which looks a bit like a mole and my mother has been going on at me for months to let her freeze it off. Finally, last weekend, I consented and allowed her to attempt to freeze it off. And the result is, I now still have a skin tag - it just no longer looks like a mole. Now it looks like a very small erect penis. On my neck. Thanks. for. that.