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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The (Big) Daddy of Wrestling

Regular readers may know that I do enjoy a bit of wrestling. I think it dates back to when I was a kid and my nanna used to take us to the wrestling when it was on at the Ipswich Corn Exchange. Many a fun few hours spent watching the likes of Rollerball Rocco, Giant Haystacks and of course, Big Daddy.

The WWE can get a bit Team America, but even so, it's great entertainment. For those that haven't seen it, it's like a homoerotic pantomime with oiled bodybuilders in leather Y-fronts. And it's even more fun watching the ridiculously patriotic USA-USA-USA crowd get remarkably worked up over what is fundamentally a rather vigorous dance routine.

But I digress. TNA Wrestling is the poor man's brother to WWE and, as such, it feels it has to be twice as extreme as WWE to be thought of as half as good. I caught some of TNA Destination X tonight, and to be honest, I've never seen anything so surreal and weird in all my life.

It started off with Curry Man and Shark Boy in a Fish Market Street Fight. Curry Man and Shark Boy are both Japanese 'super' heroes, who repeatedly beat their opponents in the groin with frozen fish. Very strange indeed. I don't know why it was set in a fish market; maybe something to do with sharks eating fish? All very lateral and really rather disconcerting.

Then there was a Stand By Your Man Leather Strap match. Where basically, two men fought and the loser would allow his baloon-breasted female partner to be thrashed with a leather strap ten times. And they actually did it too. I'm sure the BDSM crowd loved it, but I've never seen a girl thrashed on prime time family TV.

They're just about to start another match, an Elevation X match. A free-floating giant 'X', which hangs 30 feet above the ring. First one to fall off is the loser.

And they haven't even got to the main event yet. How will they top this? Perhaps they'll have an Anal Sex Cucumber match or maybe a Donkey Derby Candyfloss match.

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