Today is a very special day. Today is the 3 month anniversary of when I stopped smoking for the very last time. There are certain important milestones when you stop smoking, but none are so important as the three month mark. Because when you hit three months, you know you've really cracked it. In fact, it's such a good sign, I only realised it was three months today by complete accident.
Don't get me wrong, I do still think about it VERY occasionally. Every now and then I get the slightest of cravings... Actually, it's not so much a craving, it's more like a memory of something I used to do. It's a bit like bumping into an old girlfriend who broke your heart ten years ago - the pain is totally gone and forgotten, but the memory of it can still make you contemplative for a minute or two.
However, there is absolutely no question whatsoever of me ever smoking again, and that's a wonderful feeling. I have battled to reach this point for some considerable time, so I'm going to enjoy this moment.
I understand that there's no such thing as just one cigarette, no matter what. I can never 'just this once' take the risk. And for the first time ever, I really appreciate and accept that. But perhaps more importantly, I don't feel that I'm being denied anything, I don't feel that I'm missing out. Whether I'm having a good day or a bad one, smoking is just no longer inside my thought process.
I guess I no longer define myself by whether I smoke or not - I'm not a recovering ex-smoker, I'm a confirmed non-smoker. And I have to say, that feels pretty bloody good. I just wish I'd reached this point years ago!