Friday, November 07, 2008

Banks not happy until all that's left is Banks

The banks will not rest until they have destroyed everything that is not a bank, experts warned last night. Economists now believe the international banking industry is in the final stages of a detailed plan designed to bankrupt everyone and then kill them.

Dr Bill McKay, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Stage one was to engineer a credit boom and get everyone up to their nipples in debt.

"Stage two was to create some bullshit crisis and then exterminate the housing market.

"Stage three was to beg for a trillion pound bail-out and leave all the governments teetering on the edge of financial ruin.

"Now we're at stage four - refusing to pass on interest rate cuts, killing off any remaining businesses and forcing absolutely everyone into bankruptcy and death."

According to Dr McKay the banks will then tower over a wasteland of abandoned shops and decaying corpses before stealing whatever small amounts of change they can scavenge from the pockets of the dead.

He added: "The last remaining bits of cash will be held by Mervyn King, sitting alone in his office in Threadneedle Street. But the banks will hunt him down and devour him like a horde of rabid zombie vampires.

"They will then bulldoze away the ruins of everything that was not a bank and build a new society filled with pathetic little men who spend all day lending each other money and rubbing used tenners into their groin."

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