Barack Obama unmasked!

A shocking new story has just emerged about President-Elect Barack Obama, the first black man to be voted President of the United States. Details of the situation are sketchy at this stage, but it would appear that he is in fact the mild-mannered janitor of the White House, masquerading as the Democrat candidate for the Presidency.














Obama - or real name, Mr Tubbs - is, in fact, a white man in his 50's, and has worked at the White House for the last 30 years.

FBI Chief Todd Wurzlesticker said today that Mr Tubbs has been arrested and is currently being held at Washington State Prison. When asked how a janitor had managed to impersonate a US presidential candidate, he said Tubbs pulled it off by using a mask, a series of pulleys and a projector. "And he would have got away with it too if it hadn't been for a set of meddling kids." he added.

The credit for the discovery is being claimed by a small gang of 60's throwback acid casualties. One of the group, who referred to himself only as 'Shaggy' told us about how they had outsmarted Mr Tubbs:

"He like chased us for ages. And we were like Zoiks! But luckily me & my talking dog managed to hide in a set of pots, and using my ventriloquism skills, I managed to convince him we were in the other room. Then, he fell right into our trap of bamboo shoots, tied together with palm leaves. We took off his mask, and it was the mild-mannered janitor. But then, it shouldn't have come as that big a shock. It always seems to be the mild-mannered janitor, now I come to think of it."