Sunday, August 27, 2006

One-liners from the Edinburgh Festival

"I can't find a woman anywhere who will touch me with a shitty stick. Fair enough. It is a bit of an unusual request" - Andrew Lawrence

"After her accident, my nan had a plastic hip put in. But I thought they should have replaced it with a Slinky, coz if she did fall down the stairs again..." - Steve Williams

"My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in customs" - Patrick Monahan

"If a dog's tail is still wagging, then how can that be rape?" - Marek Larwood

"Let me tell you what blasphemy is. It's the idea there's a superior being who can make the mountains, the oceans and the skies, but who still gets upset about something I said. He's an all-powerful being, he's just got self-esteem issues" - Reginald D Hunter

"They say being a hostage is difficult. But I could do that with my hands tied behind my back" - Phil Nichol

No comments: