Chez Guevara FM - the home of UK Psy Trance

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Strange Things from your Childhood

People with lockjaw can now meet online

I can't wait to have kids so that I can lie to them and convince them that all sorts of outrageous things are true. So that, like me, when they are 34, they can make a complete tit of themselves by innocently mentioning something that turns out to be utter bollocks.

I was 18 before I realised that leaving the car running does NOT actually produce more petrol. But yesterday, I was getting a bit of shiatsu from Helen and she was massaging the skin bit between my thumb and forefinger. I innocently remarked that if you cut that bit of skin, you immediately get lockjaw. Which, it turns out, isn't true.

I remember as a child being terrified of lockjaw, which is a crazy thing to be scared of. Scared that you would cut your hand and that your mouth would suddenly spring open, exactly like a bear trap doesn't.

On a side note, the meridian point between the finger and thumb is linked to the lower intestine. Does that mean, therefore, that if you cut the skin, you'll get lockarse?

1 comment:

Little Zoe said...

My dad convinced me that he didn't actually like beer but the pubs wouldn't let him drink anything else. For about seven years, I used to say, "Look, Daddy, no one's watching - have a sip of my Coke."

Ever read 'Great Lies To Tell Small Kids'? My favourites include:

"It takes the brains and beaks of 4 real penguins to make one penguin biscuit."

"Milk feels pain."

"Wine makes Mummy clever."