People with lockjaw can now meet onlineI can't wait to have kids so that I can lie to them and convince them that all sorts of outrageous things are true. So that, like me, when they are 34, they can make a complete tit of themselves by innocently mentioning something that turns out to be utter bollocks.
I was 18 before I realised that leaving the car running does NOT actually produce more petrol. But yesterday, I was getting a bit of shiatsu from Helen and she was massaging the skin bit between my thumb and forefinger. I innocently remarked that if you cut that bit of skin, you immediately get lockjaw. Which, it turns out, isn't true.
I remember as a child being terrified of lockjaw, which is a crazy thing to be scared of. Scared that you would cut your hand and that your mouth would suddenly spring open, exactly like a bear trap doesn't.
On a side note, the meridian point between the finger and thumb is linked to the lower intestine. Does that mean, therefore, that if you cut the skin, you'll get lockarse?
1 comment:
My dad convinced me that he didn't actually like beer but the pubs wouldn't let him drink anything else. For about seven years, I used to say, "Look, Daddy, no one's watching - have a sip of my Coke."
Ever read 'Great Lies To Tell Small Kids'? My favourites include:
"It takes the brains and beaks of 4 real penguins to make one penguin biscuit."
"Milk feels pain."
"Wine makes Mummy clever."
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