Sunday, December 14, 2008

Now he's on his way out...

A story, as told by France's climate ambassador Brice Lalonde:

A man comes to the White House asking to see Bush. "He doesn't live here anymore," he is told. The next two days he comes again asking the same question, and receiving the same answer.

On the fourth day, the exasperated guard shot back: "I've already told you, he's no longer here."

"I know, I know," the man replied. "But it's such a pleasure to hear you say it."

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

How about a Big Hand for the Chancellor?

"Look at the girth of my fingers. Like a bunch of bananas. And you know what they say..."

Oh, looks like he's got one already. Has anyone else noticed this? His left hand is actually bigger than his head. Does he have elephantiatis of the hand? Is he the Anti-Beadle? A closet Kenny Everett fan? Or does he simply have a pin-head, which makes the rest of him look like it belongs to a giant? Either way, there's something seriously wrong with this man.


Q. What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
A. Dr Dre


I went to the doctor with chest pains. He took some x-rays and an ECG, and then told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why?

He said "because I'm trying to examine you."


Q. What's the loudest sound in music?
A. Stevie Wonder answering his iron.


Q. What's Stevie Wonder's favourite colour?
A. Corduroy


Two monkeys are in a bath.
First monkey says "Oooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!"
Second monkey says "For God's sake, put some cold water in, Kevin"


Q. What's the first sign of madness?
A. Suggs walking up your drive