Kim Jung Il? I never saw the first one. Looks like the afro'd crackpot leader of North Korea may be even more of a loon than first thought. For the platform-shoe wearing nutter, whose hobbies include huntin', shootin' and fission, might be telling porky pies about what he got up to on his school holidays.
After proudly announcing to a nervous world that they had successfully tested a nuclear weapon, it was announced today that this might not be the case after all. Why? Because apparently there is simply no trace of any radioactivity in the area. In addition, the seismic shock of the supposed test was much smaller than is usually the case with a nuclear explosion.
There are of course a number of possible explanations for this:
1) There was in fact no nuclear test. It was all just a major bluff on the part of North Korea to ensure America doesn't invade. USA! USA! USA! had no problem invading Iraq for having suspected nuclear weapons, because they knew that Saddam didn't actually have any nuclear weapons. I can pretty much guarantee that if Saddam DID actually have nuclear weapons, there would have been no invasion. Because he would have a nuclear weapon. It's simple playground politics. You don't pick on someone that can actually defend themselves, cos you might get hurt.
2) There was in fact no nuclear test. It was all just a major bluff on the part of North Korea to get the world to give them cash in order to stop their supposed nuclear program. The North Korean economy is in a pretty bad way. The last time North Korea was supposed to be embarking on a course of nuclear testing, all sorts of things were tried. Sanctions didn't work because basically the government does not give a shit about its people. Hundreds of thousands died from starvation and nothing changed. In the end, the Korean government were effectively bribed to stop testing, and this certainly worked up until recently when a certain George W Bush decided to stop that. As soon as the cash stopped, the 'testing' started again. I would certainly not put it past the Korean administration to effectively put a gun up against the head of the world for cash. Just as I wouldn't put it past the Chimp President to stop the cash in order to go after Korea.
3) There was a test, but it was so far underground that the seismic reading was muffled. However, that still doesn't explain why there is no radioactivity showing up in the area.
4) The Koreans have been sold something they believe to be plutonium, which is in fact no more than vim mixed with aspirin, a bottle of diet coke and some mentos to make it look real.
Either way, it makes the situation a little more complex than first thought... Not least because Kim Jung Il may well be playing an extremely dangerous game of bluff with an equally psychotic and trigger-happy adversary. If there is in fact some doubt as whether North Korea actually does have a nuclear capability, will Dubya decide to go in after all? I wouldn't put it past him. He went into Iraq for a lot less.
With two of the world's true looneys at loggerheads with each other, I dread to think what will happen. I suspect that Dubya will not go into Korea, if only because of the bloody nose he has got in Iraq. Because Korea might not have nuclear weapons, but they've got a hell of a lot of normal ones.
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2 comments:
Somebody else watched Mock The Week last night, I see.
Of course, there's a fifth possibility: There was in fact no nuclear test - Kim Jong Il faked it in order to get some attention because he's so ronery.
I think the yanks should call their bluff, and nuke them, then we will see just who has these bombs and who doesn't, or is that a bit extreme?
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