Monday, October 02, 2006

Insert witty title here

This week, as I'm sure you're all aware, the papers have been awash with harrowing tales of the harsh realities behind recent events. We've all seen the photos, and I'm sure we've all felt the same sense of horror.

I'm talking, of course, about the parsnip declared England's ugliest vegetable in the recent nationwide contest conducted by the National Trust. Apparently, the whole shebang was designed to emphasise the unimportance of appearances. As one spokesperson puts, "This competition was designed to show that we shouldn't judge a vegetable on its looks and we should challenge the image of the cosmetically perfect and well-formed vegetables found in many of our supermarkets." I kid you not.

Personally, I think the whole thing was a fix anyway. Everyone knows England's ugliest vegetable is the Rt Hon John Reid.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

"We should challenge the image of the cosmetically perfect and well-formed vegetables found in many of our supermarkets" - he's got a point.
Ludicrously high volumes of perfectly edible fruit & veg are discarded just because they don't look quite right.

It's vegetable genocide, akin to slaughtering everyone on planet earth who doesn't look like Brad Pitt or Keira Knightley. The National Trust are quite right to try and make us eat the mingers too...

Anonymous said...

I think most people would be quite happy to ravage the occasional minger.
But they may well do it in secret and never tell their friends.

We have all done it at some point and woken up in the morning with shame and regret weighing heavily upon us.

Anonymous said...

Indeed. I'm terrified my friends will find out about the kilo of ugly beetroot I ate one night in a drunken stupour. That weighed heavily on more than my mind, I can tell you.

The sad fact is that that story is actually true.

Anonymous said...

I thought the fact you were pissing purple for a week would have been far more terrifing than your pals finding out. MUM x

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Mum. Thanks a lot.