Friday, November 03, 2006

Just when you thought it was safe...


















Every time I've ever been to Brighton, I've seen Jordan. Everyone I've ever known that has been to Brighton has seen Jordan. Some celebrities shun the spotlight. Not Jordan. The last time I saw her in Brighton, she was pushing a pram down the high street, dressed entirely in pink leather. Am I the only person in Britain to think that Jordan is as rough as a three-quid handjob?

So I am not at all surprised to hear that Jordan and the thick as shit Peter Andre are releasing a record... Think that's bad? It's an album of love songs. And they are duets...

Do they really think that anyone is actually going to buy it for any other reason than as a joke Xmas present? Or perhaps with the same morbid curiosity that makes people stare at traffic accidents? I can't work them out. Do they really take themselves as seriously as they appear to? Or is just one ironic big wind-up...

One last thing... Did anyone see their duet on Children in Need? Think that was bad? Do you want to know what it sounded like BEFORE the sound engineers did their magic? Click here to hear it in its full glory. I'm warning you, this should have an 18 certificate.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damn. I'm going to university in Brighton. I wanted to get away from the chavs, and now I'll be forced to see their queen.

Please tell me that they don't do a cover of Especially For You.

Chez Guevara said...

You probably read this post BEFORE I put the link in. Follow the link, little zoe, and see just how far the rabbit hole goes...

Anonymous said...

oh my....

Anonymous said...

Wow. Is the audio real? I knew she was bad, but I didn't realise she was THAT bad.

Anonymous said...

She is a nightmare but you have to give it to the girl...she has made something out of nothing or nothings and is one rich woman.....and getting richer!

Rick said...

Probably the most hideous, painfully bad thing I've had to listen to since my last karaoke outing...

Anonymous said...

I actually think that Peter Andre comes across as quite a personable fellow. His wife, on the other hand, gives Idi Amin and Pol Pot a run for their money in the "worst personality" stakes. And who on EARTH would find Cicciolina crossed with Pete Burns attractive?

Anonymous said...

C&cksuckers have removed the clip from YouTube! I take it back - Peter Andre's now on my Shit-list as well.

Anonymous said...

Watching tv this morning - one presenter went to comment on the new duets CD an said that he was 'contually advised to say only positive' stuff about it. It seems the PR police are working on this one. Hence the vid clip has been removed from YouTube...
I wonder how many other presenters and critiques will tow the line on this 'positive spin'?