Friday, July 21, 2006

Karma Curls

My mother told me this would happen one day. When I was little, she told me the story of my Great Aunt Violet. One day, Violet was walking down the street when she saw a woman with no hair. And she laughed at that person walking down the street. The next morning, when she woke up, she was completely bald.

Now, seeing as I've never met Great Aunt Violet, that may have been a bollocks story to scare a young, impressionable child into believing in a rough sense of karma. Or it may be true. Who knows? However...

The other day I was laughing at people with mullets. And fuck me if I didn't wake up this morning with a mullet that absolutely wasn't there yesterday. It must be the weather, but I am scared. As it was an emergency, I dialled 999 (operator: "Hello, 999?" - Me: "Stop saying No No No, you crazy German, I need an emergency hairdresser"). Phew. Should be sorted out tomorrow.

How an earth can you grow a mullet overnight? I know exactly how teenwolf must have felt.

I did have a mullet once before, in fact the picture of me snarling in a butch way at the top of this page was 'avec mullet'. It was a 'trendy' mullet, it went down into a point and everything. But it was a bit like having a baby doberman. Lovely at first, but as it grew, it ended up terrorising anyone that came near it. In the end, I had no choice but to have it put down. I had to tell the children that it had gone away to live on a farm. *

* I will just point out I don't actually have any children, but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of a good gag.


Anonymous said...

Did you know that the mullet originated from an ancient druid ritual? The tribe leader would select a strong, healthy young male to be bestowed upon with the sacred hair, so that all the village could look upon him and say, "There goes that twat with the mullet." True story.

On the subject of Germans (which we weren't on but you mentioned in your post), have you seen the German coast guard video?

Chez Guevara said...

I know that to be a true story cos I invented it. And yes, I have seen that video. Very, very funny.