Wednesday, July 26, 2006

'Taking Captain Picard to Warp Speed'

In a previous posting, I said I'd like to do the London Marathon one day, and when I do, I shall be asking you all to sponsor me. However, there's a lot of training to be done before I can earn any serious cash for my chosen charidee, so it won't be any time yet.

So imagine my joy when I found an event that I have been training for all my life. That could even lead to me being a record breaker in my own name. Oh yes. My time has 'cum' and I hope I can 'pull it off'.

I am, of course, referring to the 'up-cuming' Maturbate-a-Thon 2006, in London on the 5th August. The current record stands at 8 hours and 30 minutes, and it's held by a 'yank'. I think it's time we showed the world that England has the biggest wankers in the world. It'll be 'hard' but I'm sure we can 'menage' it. (Last one a bit tenuous, sorry)

So if anyone fancies meeting up in London for a wank, let me know.

Incredibly, I hear that it is going to be shown on Channel 4. I shouldn't be surprised. Having seen an episode of Big Brother this year, they clearly have no problem filling our screens with tossers.


Anonymous said...

Your mother would be so proud.

Anonymous said...

What a delightful notion. Can't join you unfortunately, I'll be in Whitby visiting my grandmother, trying to combat the rapacious inheritance-seeking of my northern cousins.

If you break for coffee, make sure you do your own milk.

Chez Guevara said...

In case my mother is reading this, I would just like to point out that I will not be attending this year's Masturbate-a-thon as I have a prior engagement, handing out soup to homeless orphan kittens at the local church.