Watched the Stephen Fry documentary on Manic Depression last night, and thought it was excellent. I didn't know until I heard about this series that he suffered from it. But hats off to him for making such a fascinating and informative documentary.
Up until recently, I only had a vague notion as to what bipolar disorder actually is, even though I have since realised that I lived with a (sadly undiagnosed) bipolar girlfriend for nearly 4 years. It was in many ways the best years of my life; it was simultaneously the worst years of my life. I wonder how different things would have been if I'd known then what I know now. When she was good, it was like walking with angels. When she was bad, it was like living with Satan.
But that's why programs like this are so important. We both thought she was just highly strung, whereas clearly she was seriously in need of help. At least once she had a full psychotic breakdown. And I am sad to say, I just simply didn't recognise it as a mental health issue. Yes, I was there for her. But I didn't realise that it was medical help she needed, rather than me trying to 'be there' 20 hours a day solid.
If I'd understood... Perhaps if I'd been more aware of what was going on... Perhaps if she'd been diagnosed... It might have made things easier to deal with for both of us. It took me years to get over her when she left.
I haven't seen her for about 7 or 8 years. I still sometimes wonder where she is, what she's up to. Last time I saw her, she was covered in bruises. Her new boyfriend was beating her up. She was returning some of the things she had stolen from me. She'd left me with debts, to the point where I was forced to live in a camper van by Putney Bridge. And yet still I felt sorry for her.
I guess I let her take advantage of me because somehow I had an intuitive feeling that despite everything it wasn't really her fault... And it turned out that it sort of wasn't. I hope that she got diagnosed. I hope that she got the help she needed. And I hope that this program educates people - sufferers and non-sufferers alike - about Manic Depression.
5 comments:
You are absolutly right about this program and sadly there are quite a lot of people suffering from this illness and have no idea why they feel the way they do.
Mental illness still has a terrible stigma attached to it, and that's something society needs to deal with. Stephen Fry was very brave to open himself up like that; many people would be too ashamed to expose their highs and lows to the public. That's why depression, in all its forms, goes so often undiagnosed - people refuse to seek help, afraid of being labelled. Everybody knows all about cancer and AIDS - why not mental illnesses? It shouldn't just be for us Psychology students. I didn't even know bipolarity existed until I studied it last year.
That said, I spent most of the programme drooling over Tony Slattery, but then I'm strange like that.
Chez, I stumbled upon this video today, and thought about this post. There's more by the same person here.
Frankly, I wasn't 100% sure about the programme. Brave though Stephen Fry and some of the others were to talk about their problems, it had a slight feel of a celebrity love-in to it, especially during the Robbie Williams bit.
And bipolarity itself? Two telling comments were that it's "ADHD for the Noughties" and that it's "practically impossible to diagnose". Yet seemingly, everyone's talking about it and many are seeing as an explanation of their own issues.
I'm not for an instant claiming that bipolarity doesn't exist - it obviously does - or denigrating people who genuinely suffer (by which I mean most of the people on Stephen Fry's programme). But getting yourself a diagnosis of something is often a convenient hat-peg for problems; rich and "creative" people, celebrities for example, are often willing to go looking for / pay big money for these solutions and the shed-loads of drugs which come with them. And I daresay being diagnosed with the latest much-talked-about psychological condition makes for good Hollywood dinner party chit-chat too.
I remain slightly sceptical.
The programme told us that there are gradations of bi-polar. It made me think too...
I am sure my ex was a sufferer when i look back now. His downs were not quite to the point of suicide, but he used to occassionally stay in bed for 3 days and wonder why he was feeling depressed. On his highs he was THE life and soul of the party, A huge drinker, had spent 5 years caneing Es, a manic spender (even without having the money)and was constantly coming up with new ideas for businesses, which he never saw through to completion. Living with this was a major challenge. I think I can relate to some of your experiences Chez...
Post a Comment